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It's My Birthday!
Have You Kissed a Virgo Today?
I had a strange realization. Gravity. I’d taken it for granted until a few days ago when I caught my reflection at an odd angle in the mirror. My cheeks have been gradually lowering since the first time I stood upright–a few decades ago. Noticing your developing jowls is a sight you can’t unsee. Even worse is becoming conscious of the feeling of gravity, pulling on your face–your skin–your entire, very mortal, body.
I’m 39 years old. Just about midway through the short lifespan, we are all gifted with. I’m presumably closer to death than to birth. Maybe.
Others I talk to about aging usually recount their experience with a cloud of negativity. They talk about all they’ve done and how, no matter what, it was never enough. It’s never enough. It reminds me that every bit of physical change I can make will likely disintegrate a century from now. So why worry about it?
I realize that, perhaps, I’ve already done enough. I’ve already won the game since, in the end, there don’t seem to be any winners. Since we all will eventually become stars. What more do I need? A winning lottery ticket to float into my lap? A house on the hill with a white picket fence?
No. I don’t need anything to be content right now. I’ve already won.
So every birthday, I have a yearly reminder that my body is closer to its expiration date. And that one day the cells holding this physical experience together will have to find new roles on this planet. It could have happened when was seventeen. It could happen tomorrow or when I’m seventy-five.
Whenever and however that happens, I look forward to the next adventure.
Otherwise, let’s collectively look forward to my next post where I’ll be announcing a new name and mission statement for this tiny, tiny piece of the internet. Bricks Wigs & Gay Crimes is getting a Queer Eye level makeover and you all will be the first to see it. And I’m so very grateful to you. Seriously. It means so very much to me that I’ve been with me through my writings and videos. You have no idea. Knowing that you read my words is the best birthday present I could get.
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