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It’s been a while since my last post.
I’m still here. I just got back from Asheville, NC where I was filming an episode of The Gay Tour. I came back to the news that I would be losing my gym space in a week. So I’ve been scrambling.
It reminds me of my days grappling in preparation for MMA fights. My misspent youth of broken noses and a lack of oxygen to the brain. Sometimes you’d get stuck under some human ankle of a man, with his sweat dripping into your eye. You’d find yourself flopping around like a fish about to be bashed in the head with a stick. You’d try everything. Even the ole finger in the starfish trick. Yes. That’s a real thing. When you finally break free, you and your opponent would be scrambling. Grabbing at limbs in desperation. Sometimes you’d end up in the exact same spot you escaped from. Sometimes somewhere better.
This is where I am right now. I don’t have a space anymore. I don’t have a means of income. I applied for a job at NCTE and they told me to go to hell. I burned all the bridges at the local gyms in my area and the same people are in charge. Fuck em. They were awful. I can’t go back to being a barista or a dog walker or anything that pays minimum wage. And journalism is an awful world of overworked-underpaid people getting bossed around by 22-year-old nepo babies.
Can’t/won’t do that.
Here it goes. I’m sharing my desires with you and god–in a giant leap of faith. You can use me as a “try before you buy” for this method. I can be your guinea pig. Here’s what I’m going to do:
Set a goal in my mind. I’m going to lean into my creativity and enhance the lives of people around me and for the love of Pearl, not live in poverty in order to do that.
Not let go of that goal. The how can change but the general mission will not. I’m getting older. It’s now or never.
Follow my intuition. It’s gotten me this far. I’m saying yes to just about everything that comes my way. Heck, it worked for Jim Carrey in that one movie.
Repeat.
This isn’t some rich, generational wealth, white lady quoting The Secret while spending her husband’s money. This is me, refusing to compromise and give in to this machine we were all born into. I’m going to find a way. Maybe another gym space will open up? Maybe this lil indy pub will grow. Perhaps my show will land in a significant way? Who knows. All I know is that none of these ambitions will come to fruition if I give up and donate my life to some capitalist dead-end situation.
The next chapter of my life will be without compromise. Unless it’s something I love doing, I won’t do it. My work will move me towards advancing my soul development and the development of others. And my work will be towards making the planet better.
That being said. . .is anybody hiring?
Part II of the Oaxaca Episode of A World In Transition is coming VERY soon. Hopefully Tuesday. And to the paid supporters. Thank you so very much. Especially in this tricky financial time.