I'm Trans. Where Should I Live?

Because the US is making me nervous

Where Should the Unicorns Go?

That’s it! I’m packing up my advanced knowledge of gender, endocrinology, and obscure 90s culture and I’m leaving! The US is over! I’m done! I go through this anytime I watch the news. Images of the movie(and book), The Road, pop up in my mind. I’m laying in a ditch with a 5-o-clock shadow and mascara running down my face. I’m holding a six shooter and a bunch of cannibals are looking for me. They’re all trying to both eat me and debate whether trans women should play sports.

This is all ridiculous. Obviously. But it still makes me think, “Well? Where would I live if I left the US? I’ll still be trans, wherever I go.” I don’t think there are any countries begging all The Trans™ to immigrate. (Although, could you imagine the imagery behind this? Lavern Cox in a school teacher outfit, kicking a spinning globe across a classroom?)

Speaking From Experience

Part of my documentary series is to test the waters in different locations. I admit that I’m tight-walking the lines of trauma porn by letting the viewer see all the good and bad that happens to me personally. But I can’t hide the reality I live, in an attempt to be a perfect leftist.

I’ve lived in NYC and in the south of the USA. In each place I visit outside of NYC, there is a decrease in awareness of the LGBTQ community. There is a high bar for me because I live near Stonewall Inn. The people here have had trans issues beat into their head since the 70s. Thank you Marsha P!

The decrease in awareness happens in other places in the US as well as abroad. Even between different boroughs in NYC. Believe it or not, trans people are treated MUCH differently within different parts of the same borough! There is a noticeable difference of education and acceptance of trans people between northern and southern Manhattan. Not to mention between the West Village and Far Rockaway. At least this has been my experience. I have to adjust based on what subway I walk out of.

Going to other countries is the same. Mexico is enormous and there are parts of Mexico I would avoid. Also, I felt more welcome in Southern Mexico, than most parts of the US. Iceland is the most progressive country I’ve ever been, but they have a handful of bigots that are much more boisterous and aggressive than you’d experience in the US. All in all, the most dangerous situation I’ve ever been in was on a trip to London, which was mostly filled with good experiences.

The Nose Knows

You really never know. There are so many variables, especially for a trans person. ESPECIALLY, for a trans person intersecting multiple identities. I find that in our immature world, the safest place to be is a place you can most effectively blend in. Are you mistaken for cisgender? This opens possibilities but also presents dangers if people learn about your beautiful transgender complexity. Are you a person of color? Indigenous? There are certain places you don’t want to be. Most importantly, you have to develop your gut. Follow your instincts. The nose knows where to. . .goes? You get it.

Thanks for reading.

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