I Don't Hate Him Anymore

What's the point?

Just a little note. I realized that substack sent an automatic email asking you all for dough ($).Ididn′tmeanforthattohappen.Whileweallstrugglethroughcapitalism,I′mnotexpectingthepeoplereadingthisnewslettertohelpmefinancially.Honestly,I′mhappierwithyourcommentsandrepliesthanIwouldbewithyour$. I'm so very thankful to the paid subscribers to this tiny independent pub but I’m so happy that you’re reading this–whether you’re paying or not.

Without Saying any Names

I wanted to talk about the many misguided people trying to eradicate trans people. Well, let’s be real, anyone who isn’t a Christian white man. The motivation. What is it? Why would someone knowingly want to destroy such a wonderful, magical group? We know from our history books that it’s happened before and here we are again.

I’ve had to consider my future and the future of many of my friends. It was only a few generations ago that my family had to flee from Europe. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll have to do the same one day. NAAAAAHHHHHHH! I’m not going anywhere. These people don’t scare me.

Still, I’ve found it necessary to use techniques to ease the simmering fear and hatred of these people that has been brewing inside me. I’d like to share this process with you. I know I said I wouldn’t say any names so, I’m not going to mention who this guy is. I’ll just post his photo and say that he spreads more fear about transgender people than most people on Earth.

He looks like a stock photo of “Basic Angry White Man”.

Here’s what I do

I look at an image like that one or I imagine the person. In stillness, I look through the eyes of the person. After a while, the person starts to dissect in my mind. I can feel sadness. A dark hole inside. Not mine—his. Similar to the shadow creature in the movie Spirited Away. Always eating and eating. An unquenchable thirst to damage people just to feel better. Basically, a bully.

I imagine him as a child

He was a kid once too. If I grew up in his environment, would I be any different? Maybe he knows how damaging what he’s doing is and can’t go back. He could be in a prison he built around himself. Or he could just be the horrible peace of shit he appears to be?

I could continue to hate him and people like him. I could continue to drown in my own rage. He would likely never know. And if somehow they did, it would just play into their narrative. Trans people are monsters. Well, we’re not and these people aren’t going to turn us into what they’ve become.

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This Thursday, I’ll be sharing an essay from our secret writer, Abbi Sieyes, an anonymous trans woman working as a lobbyist. How fun! Are you excited? You should be.